Recent

I'm a completely different person now. Did I change? I can't tell. This condition I am having right now is very blurry. I don't know what else I want. Somehow I feel there is conflict within me. But why they have never go away? Why they have never disappear? I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel bad. I don't want to be emotional all the time. I don't want shit. I just want to be happy but I can't get to feel that anymore. Every time I want to be the happy me, I just can't do it. Am I over-thinking? Lately, there has been a lot of anger inside me. I'm afraid I cannot manage it any longer. Too much for me to keep it inside. I've never feel this very down before. I feel that, I'm living in a very very deep well that no body can ever reach me and call me. But I can't give up myself so easy after all the falls I've now stand. The only thing that keep me being the good of me is believing that there is still the good of me. I ask God for patience and strength to overcome any obstacle I'm facing right now. Lord, grant me wisdom in living up to my daily life.